Rose Virginia Butler was raised among the fairies in the foothills of northern California, where she learned the magic of storytelling from a variety of wizards, witches, mermaids, and superheroes. To her chagrin, she was never kidnapped by pirates or abducted by aliens, but she managed to find adventure in the most boring place of all: school. In her teens, she began a lifelong battle with the demons Depression and Anxiety, which she currently has under her thumb with the help of some very powerful potions and spells.
She presently works as an administrative assistant in Winters, California, a magical land known the world over for farmers, steak, and a certain country music singer we’re not supposed to make a fuss about. At the end of 2016, she became a true Phoenix, and since then, she’s been befriending dragons, hunting things, and time traveling. Every November, she straightens her Viking helmet and captains the Yolo County ship for NaNoWriMo alongside Elisabeth Kauffman.
Recently, I finished a class on soft skills, put on by New World of Work and taught by the fantastic Natasha Palumbo. We covered ten skills that can help in the workplace, skills they don’t teach you when you’re majoring in English or pretty much anything else in school. One of the things we covered in the last class was resilience.
Historically, I’ve had a hard time with resilience. I think most people with depression do. One small failure can keep us from trying again or trying something new because it’s a glaring example of our perceived incompetence. That, paired with a poor view of my own self-worth, has been what’s kept me from finishing a novel and having a successful career doing what I truly love.
I have to admit, I’m a little apprehensive about the movie Long Shot. Don’t get me wrong. I have very high hopes for it. Based solely on the two trailers I’ve seen, it looks like it could be an enjoyable watch. (Please note that what follows is a discussion on a particular type of movie, which Long Shot may or may not be. I haven’t actually seen it yet. The movie’s trailer only sparked this discussion in me.)
Depending on how the actual movie plays out, it could be another in a long line of “unattractive”* guy meets “hot” woman and somehow woos/seduces/date rapes her movies (I’m thinking of Sixteen Candles and Hitch right now, but there are plenty of others). Who cares? What’s so bad about that? It’s cute and endearing and shows the power of love, right?
Feeling whole and feeling like nothing is missing are two different things to me. There’s that old metaphor that gets used about the Japanese bowls being repaired with gold and looking more fabulous than they were before, and yes, that’s a wonderful metaphor for healing. But even though those bowls are whole, they can still be empty.
I’ll just say this up front, I feel whole. There are a couple little cracks a way deep down inside that could maybe be filled, but I don’t feel broken. (What is broken? Sam Winchester in the current season of Supernatural; he’s fucking broken.)* What is wholeness? I guess to me wholeness is having everything you need to get through the day and then recharge at the end of the day. If I’m not able to do that, I am definitely not whole.
Excuse me while I have some fun. I’m watching Romancing the Stone right now, and I was thinking how cool it would be to see a (well-done) remake. Then I thought to myself, Self, what if the genders of all the characters were reversed? Well now, that would be something! So, without further ado, here is who I would cast:
Ira/Irene (orig. Zack Norman): Julianne Moore Ralph/Ruby (orig. Danny Devito): Melissa McCarthy Dr./Col. Zolo (orig. Manuel Ojeda): Salma Hayek Elaine/Eddie (orig. Mary Ellen Trainor): Zac Efron Gloria/Gabe (orig. Holland Taylor): Ben Affleck Juan/Juanita (orig. Alfonso Arau): Elizabeth Rodriguez Jack/Jackie (orig. Michael Douglas): Zoe Saldana Joan/John (orig. Kathleen Turner): Ryan Reynolds
I mean, really, wouldn’t you just love to hear Julianne Moore say, “Look at those snappers, Ruby.” Elizabeth Rodriguez saying, “John Wilder? The John Wilder?” Can’t you just see Zoe Saldana shooting at Salma Hayek, mumbling about how she should have listened to her mother and become a cosmetic surgeon? Ryan Reynolds, crying over the ending of his new romance novel and saying, “Oh God, that’s good!”
Hollywood, I expect to be made an executive producer and receive a portion of the royalties on what is sure to be a blockbuster hit. kthnxbai
So I decided a few days ago that I would try Whole30 again. Today is Day 1, and it’s a great day to remind me why I’m doing this.
I woke up late this morning, by about two and a half hours. No biggy. It’s Sunday. I can afford to sleep in. I fed the cats, checked to make sure my computer hadn’t miraculously healed itself overnight (it hadn’t),* took a shower, and made myself a great Whole30 breakfast of bacon-wrapped shrimp and veggies. I was feeling pretty good and looking forward to church and a library visit.
Then, it hit me. I felt like I hadn’t slept in a week. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and take a long nap, and it was only 10:30 am. I had nothing left in me to give anyone, even myself.
Tonight on Twitter I made a confession. I confessed to having watched the 2006 documentary Jesus Camp at least four (?) times. I did this as I watched it again for the fifth (?) time.
A couple of points I should make: I am an agnostic Wiccan Unitarian Universalist. I used to be a fundamentalist Christian (a Reformed/Calvinist Baptist, in case you wanted to know), but I have never been a Pentecostal. I have never been 100% onboard with what the people in the film are preaching.
So why have I watched it so many times? I pondered this tonight and decided to talk it out here because why not?
First of all, I find the hypocrisy fascinating. I’m not talking about Ted Haggard preaching against homosexuality and then having his extramarital relationship with a man outed. I’m talking about magic.
Behold the beauty of my personally designed planner. After scouring the internet and bookstores for the perfect planner for–let’s face it–years, I finally decided to create my own. (Side note: I did try bullet journaling for a while, but I hated that I had to create new spreads every day/week/month by hand.)
I originally was going to have it printed at Kinko’s and put it in a binder, but that was going to cost in the hundreds of dollars (?!). I decided to check out a self-publishing website I encountered before (BookBaby), and to my pleasant surprise, my new planner (bound with a hard cover!) was going to cost less than $50, including shipping.
I had a shipping issue that was my own fault (somehow, my old address was put in, and I didn’t double check it; it was sent to the house that caught fire a year ago), so I didn’t get it until today. I’ve been having so much fun filling it in and coloring it, though!
The only problem is that it is quite large. I like the big page sizes, but not so much the thickness. Now, I included only seven months (and two weeks) in this, since I thought it up partway through the year. I had been planning on making one for next year that included all of 2019, but I don’t think that will happen. That book would be enormous! At this point, I’m planning on creating two six month planners for next year, but who knows what the future holds? Perhaps someone will come out with a (cheaper) planner that I love just as much.
Things I love:
It’s relatively plain, so I can jazz it up however I want. STICKERS
It has an Activity Inventory for each month, and the daily To Do lists are set up for the Pomodoro Technique.
Every day has two full pages!
There’s space for gratitude journaling, affirmations, and review EVERY DAY.
The daily schedule is 12 hours.
Weekly spread has review, planning, and schedule-at-a-glance sections.
There’s a full year calendar in the front.
The monthly spread has planning and review sections.
Special days, such as Esbats and Sabbats, are already on the monthly calendar.
Things I’ll change for next time:
Include space on daily pages for day-long events like birthdays and holidays.